Time regiments

There’s no universal route for all and a master key to unlock all our destinies.

So I bumped into a former school mate from primary school. The person walked up to me and smiled, stretched their hand outwards to greet me. I just had to be polite and I smiled back, shook the person’s hand in return. The person told me how my face looked familiar and still smiling not to make it a bit awkward I responded, “From where?”

All along I thought I was one of the selected few to possess hyperthymesia, a superior autobiographical memory where one is able to recall the vast majority of personal events and experiences in life! But I was proven wrong ! My friend gave me a few seconds to delve deep into the recesses of my mind but I could not retrieve anything!

Figuratively speaking, a lightbulb flashed over his head.

“You are Maureen!”

“We attended the same primary school!”

For a second I thought he was going to say you were a stream ahead of me. As if that wasn’t enough, he said,

“I even remember your surname.”

I was now getting uncomfortable as I didn’t even recognise his face nor remember him!

He broke the silence, “You’re Maureen Hove”.
He continued, “Maybe you still remember my sister, you were friends with her .” He reached for his phone in his pocket started scrolling through his gallery showing me pictures of his siblings. He helped jog my memory and he was like, ” we were triplets, remember?” But you haven’t changed even a bit. I looked at him, properly this time around, because all along I was stealing glances from the corner of the eye since everything about his countenance was so new to me.

Then the question I dread the most came. “Are you married yet?”

“Not yet,”I responded. What about you?

He indicated that he wasn’t planning on marrying anytime soon but the sister who I was friends with back then was married already and had two beautiful kids. I was like oh, congratulations to her! After our weird conversation, I bid farewell to him and we part ways.
I immediately boarded a commuter omnibus heading straight back home.

All the way home my mind was on overdrive. According to him, I hadn’t changed except for growing an extra centimetre tall! I wish he knew how much I had changed intellectually and the wisdom I had accumulated in the past years. Well, he kept on talking and emphasising about marriage using his sister as the point of reference indirectly highlighting how much of a late bloomer I am. I couldn’t respond then but here’s what I really wanted to say to him…

I wanted to tell him that marriage which Is deemed a societal achievement is not all that and a bag of chips. I know it will happen someday and it will be beautiful all in God’s timing!

We are so tied to culture, society, custom and time regiments, we all want to fit in because the society is intolerant to deviants, and also there is this huge fear of being ridiculed.

We all have different timelines no wonder we were born in different families and on different days. Even spitting image twins don’t come out at the same time, they are spaced by a few seconds or minutes..meaning that someone is already breathing before the other one does. It’s not a shame and there is nothing absolutely wrong to see a three-month-old baby teething..whilst the same age baby from next door isn’t..some start crawling at six months..some at twelve months. .same age group..same sex.

That same concept applies to life. The onset of puberty in adolescence differs from one individual to the other. As you know, the major landmark of puberty for females is menarche, I still remember when I was in form one and other same-aged girls had already undergone significant physical changes. I wasn’t there yet, mine started a bit late..but, did that mean I wasn’t a budding girl as well and wasn’t going to experience these changes? Absolutely not!

There is no need for people to project their fears on you. They keep telling you what they think and you end up believing them. They say a lady or man of your age should be married by such time or should have accomplished such by a certain time but on whose timeline are we working on here?

The waiting period may be very painful especially when you are being tortured by other people’s achievements and they are making it right under your nose. Don’t succumb to pressure from family and friends. Keep God close. He is about to blow your mind just be the best version of yourself that can be able to finally receive whatever you are working towards.

76 thoughts on “Time regiments

  1. It would depend on what he said, but perhaps he was not judging you? Might he have “just” found you attractive and was subtly asking whether you were available? Okay, not so subtle 🤣🤣
    I agree with you, it is weird, although “society” counts for less here. But it is also weird, I think, that some people only aspire to being married and having children. I think there is a lot more to life.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Interesting post. We all feel pressure to conform to social norms, it’s part and parcel of belonging to a social species. Part of finding yourself is deciding which norms you are comfortable following and which you find restrictive. As you say, there is a time for everything under the sun and we should walk through life at our own pace.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. There’s a tune about this I’m sure… Chicago “25 or six to four.”. Does anyone care…about time?! Why yes, yes they do!… Parents have notions how good you’ll both be and get… And they want piles of grandchildren they can spoil or if brats, send home hahahaha on you! Employers think I give a poop about their “business” when all I do if/when so lucky… Is wonder if there’s a least annoying job … I’d say more but sudden emergency I gotta tinkle like I’m a tickled two is my issue

    Liked by 3 people

  4. We are on such different timelines. I never had children. Wanted to, couldn’t. I hear your pain. I got my child when I married the second time. He was 25 at the time. It’s been a great journey even though it took a VERY long time. 🙂 God knows what you need has your best interests at heart. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Thank you for sharing. You are much younger, I think to have to go through this. It would have been much more difficult at a younger age. Hugs and best wishes.

        Liked by 3 people

  5. My motto is ‘let no one come and teach me how to live my life, that’s why it’s called my life i will live it the way i want. I will not compare myself to others because that’s their life’

    It took me time to stop comparing myself to others but once i succeeded, i was so at peace

    Liked by 3 people

  6. It is important to hold on to your core beliefs as these will hold you firm in all the ups and downs life throws at all of us.Keep an open mind when interacting in life as your greatest blessings come from the most unusual places. Shalom!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I can relate to the dreaded question. As a female whenever you go to a family function just know that will be the question of the day for you. Before COVID19 pandemic I visited a sick relative in hospital and it was serious but people still needed to ask that question and at a funeral same question…interesting. Do guys get asked this question as often as women? I just wonder why people concern themselves with other peoples timelines. God made us different and He is the only one who is allowed to lead me into what He alone knows I am ready to flourish in.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hey Fadzie!🙋

      I’m glad you found it relatable..that’s a good question you posed there..I also wonder if
      guys are also bombarded with the same question too😕
      I strongly feel we shouldn’t choose our paths in life based on the expectations set on us by others, be it family , friends, or society in general.

      Like

  8. You live life how you choose to and in your own time frame. I married young, had kids young and I was still somewhat young when they fledged the nest. After my divorce some 18 1/2 years later, I met a wonderful man. We were together 12 1/2 years before we got married and have been married just over 3 of those years. The years of marriage is not what’s important. It’s the time we’ve been together – over 15 years and we are still very happy. You will meet the right person at the right time when you are ready. Live life to its fullest no matter what society thinks you should do. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. This is so important and relatable. We should be allowed to bloom when we are ready. There’s no pain in waiting patiently for what is yours. God is in control and He has a plan.
    Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 3 people

  10. /_¨Me gusta esas dos entradas, si, me gustan, más las segunda Regimientos del Tiempo mis felicitaciones. He visto sentido cosas de fondo en esa descripción. Gracias te deseo un buen día_Salud – lo importante para todo -es/Obvio como tantas cosas pero, a veces efectivamente lo obvio, lo simple___esos mensajes del día que no se ven, y hablan cuando se aprende a observar, seguir esas indicaciones; que muestran/Contestan que vas por buen camino. A eso, yo le llamo|Identifico—paz/Espiritual <que te inmuniza absolutamente a todo lo adverso/Pulso-miedo— . Por eso en mi caso no juego/No-desafío a la muerte -Y- en absoluto la temo-por-tanto, aprendí a no tener ese miedo—, temo más a la vida; como decía ¨aquel¨, y es cierto completamente. La gente-en-general teme a la muerte, y cuando se aprende a ser desprendido, no ser dependiente ´fácil´, pues entonces se aprende que sí, a la/Vida es a la que hay que tener en cuenta/Respetarla y si acaso cabe—¿porqué no temerla buenamente?. Un saludo suerte.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You’re so cool! I don’t believe I’ve truly read through something like this before. So wonderful to find another person with unique thoughts on this subject. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is something that’s needed on the web, someone with some originality!

    Like

  12. Well that was a nice writting, people will always judge you or Comment about you, regarding some things you ought to have achieved or be measuring you up with some other person, but this shouldn’t really matter to you. As the fingers of your hand aren’t the same, so are people, one would have already reached certain level, have possessed certain things, but this shouldn’t bother you. We all have our routes and goals in life and should be satisfied with what we have and seek to improve on them. Let’s avoid unnecessary stress and pressure. We may soon miss you in this earth. Be moderate, take things calmly

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Well that was a nice writting, people will always judge you or Comment about you, regarding some things you ought to have achieved or be measuring you up with some other person, but this shouldn’t really matter to you. As the fingers of your hand aren’t the same, so are people, one would have already reached certain level, have possessed certain things, but this shouldn’t bother you. We all have our routes and goals in life and should be satisfied with what we have and seek to improve on them. Let’s avoid unnecessary stress and pressure. We may soon miss you in this earth. Be moderate, take things calmly

    Liked by 1 person

  14. You actually make it seem really easy with your presentation however I
    in finding this matter to be really one thing which I feel I might by no means understand.
    It kind of feels too complicated and very large for me.
    I’m taking a look ahead on your subsequent submit, I will try to
    get the hang of it!

    Liked by 1 person

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