To all the Fathers out there…

To the ever present father

Thank you for deferring your dreams so that mine could be realised
I know you would have wanted to be more than what you are today
You sacrificed your sweat and hard-earned money for us
Thank you for being uncomfortable so that I could live comfortably

For lifting heavy loads on both hands, over your shoulders( literally and figuratively )it all seemed as if you were carrying weight as light as a feather! When mom and I tried to carry the same load, gravity immediately humbled us.
It’s like you were born to play out your role perfectly well!

For concealing your pain and stifling your tears when we hit rock bottom,
I understand that like any other human being you have emotions,
For biting your lower lip and acting macho in front of us while you were in turmoil
Like a duck, seemingly calm on the surface but paddling like the dickens underneath

For showing up at all my special events from pre-school to asking you to bail me out in town after recklessly blowing up all the money I had including transport money.
I thought you had the ability to halt the sun and put everything on hold just for me.

For being a Ginnie in a teapot, popping out whenever I wanted you to,
Immediately appearing the moment I rubbed the teapot -the only difference is that I wasn’t restricted to only three wishes per day!

I’m sorry for being selfish, I really never thought sleep was important to you as much as it was to me because at the slightest twitch in my stomach I would give out a deafening cry just to get your attention
I remember you would immediately wake up and hold me in your arms till I fell asleep.

Even in uncharted and murky waters,
I always found myself in unfamiliar situations with zero experience absolutely clueless of what would happen next
I didn’t know how to behave nor act but nonetheless, you instructed me to firmly hold your hand and follow closely, right behind you
All I did was watch and learn
I always marvelled in my head what gifted father I had!
All the new and fancy things you introduced to me, I could swear you had travelled around the world in your past life!

I wasn’t afraid of the dark because I knew you were my knight in shining armour who would bust thieves and any other nocturnal beings.

For being my first teacher, handing me a pencil and paper with my name written on it and asking me to write it down, as you helped me shape the outline of the alphabet letters
You made it all seem easy!
Thank you for being patient with me,I remember you constantly correcting the shaping of my letters.
Even when my b’s would look like d’s you still believed in me

And…

To the invisible and absent father who never had the time to play out the “daddy” role,
Father, we needed you, the value wasn’t in the material items, those things never replaced nor substituted your presence we craved most
We needed you as a guiding influence
We needed you then and still need your love and support
Who will protect us and nurture us too?
Who will advocate for us, rebuke and teach us?
We also want to hold you accountable.
Even if we end up being raised by another man
there will always be a connection to you,

Are you aware of the gap created and the large hollow in our lives that you left us with?
We tried to live with it but I know I’ll be spending all my life trying to compensate for what never was
The opportunity is still there though ,
It’s never too late to fill the void.
You can begin some level of healing by trying to have a role in the lives of us, your estranged children, I know it will never be the same but it’s worth the try don’t you think?
It might not even happen since we were already used to not having you around.

To the father who was deserted by his own flesh and blood.
I apologise on their behalf, you are highly honoured!

To future fathers, your children deserve more.

To the father who never begat children of his own, ended up adopting and becoming a strong and significant influence on their adopted children,
We salute you!

To the deceased father. You might be gone but never forgotten

131 thoughts on “To all the Fathers out there…

  1. Reblogged this on and commented:
    WOW!!!! What a touching dedication to fathers! What stood out to me is how you told your own story of your relationship with your father to start it off, which was written in a very special way.

    In the absent father’s part, you answered the questions I always wanted to tell about my absent father. Thank you for being sharing that part. Words cannot express how grateful you really are to have a present father in your life.

    May God continue to keep you and your father close. Thank you for taking the time to write a post about gratitude, optimism, and thanksgiving. Well done, thy good and faithful servant! 😀 XOXO

    Liked by 12 people

  2. This was very moving for me to read !
    It is so sensitively written.

    The child who experiences the warm, unconditional love of an earthly Father is blessed indeed. That child will easily be able to believe in the goodness of our Heavenly Father.
    I was also blessed with a wonderful father.

    Thanks for posting. This is an article I will long remember.
    Beautiful photo too ! 🌷🤗

    Liked by 10 people

    1. Hey Sally❤Thank you for the beautiful comment.

      I found myself tearing up as I was writing it too.It was so emotionally moving for me .I thank God you were also blessed with an amazing father! ❤

      Thanks for the compliment

      Liked by 3 people

  3. In Chile, where I live, Father’s Day is celebrated today. An unusual celebration due to quarantine. Separated from the sons in protection of health.
    I have read with much interest your thoughts to your father. It has been an uplifting read for bringing forth your feelings as a daughter. Grateful and recognizing the value of a love that cannot be compared in life.
    Good for each of your words. one, as a father, immerses himself in that accumulation of expressions and it is a great satisfaction to appreciate a letter as heartfelt as yours.
    I am pleased to be on your blog. I’m sure I will enjoy it.
    Manuel

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hello Manuel so nice to hear from you .I never imagined we would celebrate Special days like Father’s day in quarantine and some nations on lockdown with restricted movement making it difficult for children to spend the day with their Fathers..some even lost their Fathers to this deadly pandemic making it even harder to commemorate this day! However, interacting with people like you here gives me hope and a glimmer of hope that we will get through this together and when it’s all over we will have stories to tell and books to write too😊

      Stay safe and keep in touch!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We all hope that this dark weather will see clarity at some point. For you also my wishes that you take care of yourself because health is priceless.
        Manuel

        Like

      1. Oh! Well, for me personally, I’m not interested in sexual activity and such. I have nothing against it, it’s just not my thing. I’m totally down for having a partner one day, just no children, that’s all. Hope you understand, and big thanks for following my blog! It means a lot 🙂

        Like

  4. Also, please check out my new blog post! I nominated you for the Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award, please check the post for details!

    I look forward to reading your response to my questions upon acceptance of the award! 😃🙏💛👊🎉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This hit home. Having lost my father a few years ago, I have tried to ignore Father’s Day when it comes around– not to forget my father, but to dull the pain and to stop waiting for him to come back. Thankfully, I know where he is, and there will be a reunion someday. Thank you for this beautiful dedication.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. thank you so much, Maureen. it was a giddy time for me. i was so excited i thought i’d pee on my pants. i still remember that moment even though it was decades ago. and i so want to thank my dad for that best present ever that he gave me.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Good to get positive feedback, as I told my son on Father’s Day. I had a baby for myself when I was young and driven by instinct, but really t’s a selfish act in the context of its time. Afterward, we fathers sometimes doubt whether we have done the best thing for the child. What kind of life, what kind of world have we brought them into? And I will move along the river of life and one day die, and leave them to themselves.
    I will still feel like I am deserting them when I die, but having seen them all grow into strong and successful adults, my fears are allayed somewhat. (I must mention my son for whom this is not the case, as we lost him at the age of 22.)
    I cannot begin to imagine the life of the absentee father. There are two sides to every story, I know.
    But for me, I would walk through the fires of Hell before I would separate myself from them.

    Seek peace,

    Paz

    Liked by 1 person

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