To the ever present father
Thank you for deferring your dreams so that mine could be realised
I know you would have wanted to be more than what you are today
You sacrificed your sweat and hard-earned money for us
Thank you for being uncomfortable so that I could live comfortably
For lifting heavy loads on both hands, over your shoulders( literally and figuratively )it all seemed as if you were carrying weight as light as a feather! When mom and I tried to carry the same load, gravity immediately humbled us.
It’s like you were born to play out your role perfectly well!
For concealing your pain and stifling your tears when we hit rock bottom,
I understand that like any other human being you have emotions,
For biting your lower lip and acting macho in front of us while you were in turmoil
Like a duck, seemingly calm on the surface but paddling like the dickens underneath
For showing up at all my special events from pre-school to asking you to bail me out in town after recklessly blowing up all the money I had including transport money.
I thought you had the ability to halt the sun and put everything on hold just for me.
For being a Ginnie in a teapot, popping out whenever I wanted you to,
Immediately appearing the moment I rubbed the teapot -the only difference is that I wasn’t restricted to only three wishes per day!
I’m sorry for being selfish, I really never thought sleep was important to you as much as it was to me because at the slightest twitch in my stomach I would give out a deafening cry just to get your attention
I remember you would immediately wake up and hold me in your arms till I fell asleep.
Even in uncharted and murky waters,
I always found myself in unfamiliar situations with zero experience absolutely clueless of what would happen next
I didn’t know how to behave nor act but nonetheless, you instructed me to firmly hold your hand and follow closely, right behind you
All I did was watch and learn
I always marvelled in my head what gifted father I had!
All the new and fancy things you introduced to me, I could swear you had travelled around the world in your past life!
I wasn’t afraid of the dark because I knew you were my knight in shining armour who would bust thieves and any other nocturnal beings.
For being my first teacher, handing me a pencil and paper with my name written on it and asking me to write it down, as you helped me shape the outline of the alphabet letters
You made it all seem easy!
Thank you for being patient with me,I remember you constantly correcting the shaping of my letters.
Even when my b’s would look like d’s you still believed in me
To the invisible and absent father who never had the time to play out the “daddy” role,
Father, we needed you, the value wasn’t in the material items, those things never replaced nor substituted your presence we craved most
We needed you as a guiding influence
We needed you then and still need your love and support
Who will protect us and nurture us too?
Who will advocate for us, rebuke and teach us?
We also want to hold you accountable.
Even if we end up being raised by another man
there will always be a connection to you,
Are you aware of the gap created and the large hollow in our lives that you left us with?
We tried to live with it but I know I’ll be spending all my life trying to compensate for what never was
The opportunity is still there though ,
It’s never too late to fill the void.
You can begin some level of healing by trying to have a role in the lives of us, your estranged children, I know it will never be the same but it’s worth the try don’t you think?
It might not even happen since we were already used to not having you around.
To the father who was deserted by his own flesh and blood.
I apologise on their behalf, you are highly honoured!
To future fathers, your children deserve more.
To the father who never begat children of his own, ended up adopting and becoming a strong and significant influence on their adopted children,
We salute you!
To the deceased father. You might be gone but never forgotten